Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
