i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
