i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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