i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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