Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
