i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
is it fun? or sober?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
