I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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