he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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