One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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