Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
