mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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