Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize