I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im having a threesome with these popsicles
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
