toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
