He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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