I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
