Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
