Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
