i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
did you just send me my own nude
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
