he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
