well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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