first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
