I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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