We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So squirting runs in the family.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
