Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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