Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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