We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
