Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
