I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
