My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
