I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
