Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
