Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
