Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
