She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
