I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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