We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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