I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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