I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
