Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
