apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
