Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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