And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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