You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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