Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
