AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
