where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
