Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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