No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
