Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
