I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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