I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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