Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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