dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize