I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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