my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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