i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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