Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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