I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
