Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
