i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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