it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
