We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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