tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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