buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
