why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
bring money and cleavage
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
