There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
