Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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