Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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