is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
