that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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