So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
