I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
