Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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