I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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