So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
