I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
